Meeting Krishnamurti
I was born in the French part of Switzerland in a small village where my father was a mountain guide. There was no radio in our village, and the only means of communication was a common telephone for the entire village. My parents brought me up with no expectations to conform to societal norms. They gave me a childhood where I was free to observe the snowflakes, the clouds, but also the people! As I grew up, I was eager to discover the world. I travelled to the German part of Switzerland, to England, and then came back to Geneva. I took up a job as a secretary. My thirst for living was not fulfilled, and I decided to change my profession. I took advice from a professional and she suggested that I could become a teacher. I thought why not? Even as we discussed various aspects that this change would involve, she suggested one day that I go to Saanen. She told me that there is a man called Krishnamurti who comes to give talks there, and what he says might be of interest to me. I was reluctant to go, not wanting to get caught in some kind of a sect. But I went.
In Saanen, a large group of people were sitting under a tent. Suddenly, there was a deep spontaneous silence. Krishnamurti came in. He sat on a simple wooden chair, dressed in European clothes. He looked at the large audience and started speaking in English. The vocabulary was new to me—phrases like ‘wholeness of life’, ‘looking without any image’ did not mean anything to me. I also became aware that something completely new was arising in me, something very ancient, something which did not seem to be even related to Krishnamurti but was within me. This was both intriguing and, in a way, disturbing. I had never experienced this.
Back in Geneva I bought a book by this man whom I had never seen nor heard till very recently and read this book from cover to cover. I sensed the logic of what was written. I did not know then that what would follow this first encounter would be a new life for me.
Becoming a teacher
I did three years of studies in Geneva in order to become a teacher. I chose to teach young children, because I did not have to give them grades. I also went back to Saanen each summer. These were years of great discoveries: I was listening to Krishnamurti in Saanen—a place where he spoke for twenty-five years—and at the same time the children in the public school at Geneva were also my teachers. One day a child came sliding in with great vigour. I stopped him, adding, “Why are you doing that?” He answered, “But I like it!” He felt offended that I did not understand his right to do what he likes and his need to defend his actions. In these words, I could perceive the basis of most of our actions, whatever our age. I also discovered that there was a simple connection in my heart with the child’s world. I was lucky to have found my profession. I also became intensely interested in the teachings.
With the freshness of what I had received in Saanen, and my presence in Geneva, I thought I should share my discoveries with two friends. When we first met, we could see that there was no listening, but I felt that we should be together more often. This went on for some time, meeting in each others’ homes and talking with each other. Later, I began organizing regular K study meetings and created a private library in my flat in Geneva.
Being part of the Brockwood Park community
The Saanen gathering had a very international flavour, and I was meeting people from England, India and many other countries. One day I met Dorothy Simmons, founder-principal of Brockwood Park School, the Krishnamurti School in the UK. I was keen to experience the kind of education that was going on at Brockwood. Since there was no teaching position open, Dorothy offered that I could work in the garden or in the kitchen. Though this was not my real interest, I took up the proposal, since I was keen to be in a place established for experimenting with the teachings.
It was a totally new experience living in a community of adults, where there were also students of different ages, backgrounds and nationalities. I had great fun in the presence of this age group. Some of them were keen to be with nature, and to have a close relationship with their teachers; but some were also testing the limits of the freedom they had.
Krishnamurti would stop by at Brockwood on his way to other countries. He came several times during the year. He was innocent like a child. But the ‘absolute’ would spring up at unexpected moments. Let me illustrate this—Dorothy Simmons was reporting how well the school was doing—more students, better teachers, more money. Krishnamurti interrupted, saying, “Show me the transformed students”. There was no more to say. In a school that stood for the transformation of human beings, the ‘absolute’ could not be compromised. It was evident that this was not something to be discussed.
During his stay in Brockwood, Krishnamurti spoke to the directors, then to the teachers and then to the students. The general atmosphere changed each day. I had the feeling that the presence of Krishnamurti penetrated even the walls. Some of us were fascinated by the teachings; some were fascinated by the man; some liked both the man and the teachings. I was one of the latter. I had intended to be there just for a sabbatical of a year, but eventually stayed for six years at Brockwood! After a year of helping in the kitchen and garden, I became part of the French teaching group and took on more responsibility for the students.
Organizing the Saanen gatherings
After six years, I felt the call to go back to Geneva and experiment with what I had learnt and could express, away from the supportive atmosphere of the Brockwood community. At the same time there was a need for someone to be part of organizing the Saanen gathering. I was asked if I could do it. Several people were travelling from England to Saanen to participate in the conference and to do the video recordings. The students too were happy to join in this. From then on, I participated fully in the work at Saanen.
I could sense the tremendous work that Krishnamurti was doing. Apart from the conference, talks on questions of life and death, Krishnamurti also had discussions on education. He met committees and many individuals coming from far away. In his free time, he loved walking in the mountains. As always, he was very considerate of others. He was, for instance, worried that the cook in Chalet Tannegg where he stayed, had to climb too many steps!
There was a very special atmosphere in the whole valley. It was tangible. Though the population of Saanen chose not to be part of the meetings except for a few, it was a great source of income for them. It was an extremely busy time for me too but I knew that the source of the energy was Krishnamurti and that it was flowing fully. Sometimes, I was worried at a superficial level, but deep down, I felt fully nourished.
I had to talk with him a few times about organizational matters. I could then meet him on his own. Knowing that he was tired after the day’s engagements, I kept these meetings brief. We would first settle all the organizational questions. For instance, on one occasion, people were worried that the wooden chair on which Krishnamurti sat was not stable enough. He said matter-of-factly, “A chair is a chair; and nothing can be taken out of this place without permission”. And then he looked out of the window. There was only the action of looking, no sense of division. On another occasion many people asked me if I could tell Krishnamurti how valuable and transformative these meetings were. As I came in and spoke, Krishnamurti started to bow in front of me, probably like the Chinese would do. At first, I thought he was teasing me. But I think this was not so. It felt somehow as if the universe was responding.
In 1985 some people, seeing how tired Krishnamurti (now 90 years of age) was becoming, encouraged him to stop coming to Saanen and keep all the other activities to a minimum. After his three-month travel to India, he passed away in Ojai, California in February 1986. I was in France then and immediately knew that the immense journey of exploring and sharing the dynamism of living was in motion. We may believe that we are creating our own lives. But to me, this is not so. There is in us a kind of vibration which will offer opportunities when we listen to it. Because we are life.
The gatherings today
The vibrations of all that had happened in this beautiful valley in Switzerland prompted people to keep coming to Saanen. They were expecting the exploration to go on. It was easy enough to organize, though on a much smaller scale yet with great intensity and diversity.
Do these meetings still have a quality of the extraordinary river of goodness and wisdom that Krishnamurti brought to the world? It is good to ask this question; but of course, there is no answer. Truth can be explored, and the exploration can be shared. But as Krishnamurti said, it is a pathless land.